"A Toddlers Creed"
>
> If it is on, I must turn it off.
> If it is off, I must turn it on.
> If it is folded, I must unfold it.
> If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
> If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
> If it is high, it must be reached.
> If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
> If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
> If it has leaves, they must be picked.
> If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
> If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
> If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and
> thrown on the floor.
> If it is closed, it must be opened.
> If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
> If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
> If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator,
> monitor, or table.
> If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
> If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
> If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
> If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be
> ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
> If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
> If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
> If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
> If it is paper, it must be torn.
> If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
> If the volume is low, it must go high.
> If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
> If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
> If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
> If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
> If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
> If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
> If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
> If it is not food, it must be tasted.
> If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
> If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
> If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
> If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
> I am toddler!